Today is the perfect picture of this strange juxtaposition, this in-between place where I am mentally these days…
Sitting in class this morning, repeating questions in Indonesian that last week I wouldn’t have understood, I felt twinges of homesickness creeping in. Feeling teary, I kept going- trying to cover it up (I am, after all, the only girl in my class). Thinking about my mom, my best friend, the fact that Ethan can’t be there to celebrate his best friend’s birthday this week, the emotion threatened to push through the wall I was trying to keep in place. For the moment I shook myself out of it, telling myself I could “go there” later but right now I needed to concentrate on learning Indonesian.
Immediately after school today, we had plans to go over to another MAF family’s house for lunch, right across from the playgroup Ethan goes to all week while we’re in school. We enjoyed our time together, eating a new Indonesian dish we hadn’t tried before. Then it was time to head home to beat the afternoon rain we could see coming. I sat on the scooter as far back on the seat as I could, with Ellie in her Baby Bjorn, Jon drove, Ethan stood in the footwell and off we went. As we drove, the wind on my face was refreshing, I watched the banana trees and bamboo whip by and I could feel myself relaxing (yes, even with all of us on a scooter!) thinking, “I can’t believe it’s only been a month! It’s starting to feel a little like home!” And the remarkable thing is-it is!
Of course, I still miss home, but things that a month ago felt foreign, unfamiliar and occasionally a little frightening now seem normal, even comfortable. Yes, I miss home- a lot- but I am seeing God’s goodness and provision, His fingerprints and good gifts to our family as we learn to serve Him here. Everything from the very basic- cooler weather the last few days with a nice breeze- to the kind that makes this mama’s heart so grateful- the precious gift of friends here for Ethan, to the hard to believe- the ability to hear and begin to understand the language we’d never heard before we came. We’ve come a long way in 5 weeks. I know this time frame, 6 weeks in or so, is when the homesickness really starts to kick in and I’m sure I will have days I’m so ready to hop on a plane, but not today. Today I am thankful the Lord is helping us settle in, build relationships with friends and neighbors, enabling us to learn and stumble through a conversation in Indonesian and for now, making Indonesia home.
Of course, I still miss home, but things that a month ago felt foreign, unfamiliar and occasionally a little frightening now seem normal, even comfortable. Yes, I miss home- a lot- but I am seeing God’s goodness and provision, His fingerprints and good gifts to our family as we learn to serve Him here. Everything from the very basic- cooler weather the last few days with a nice breeze- to the kind that makes this mama’s heart so grateful- the precious gift of friends here for Ethan, to the hard to believe- the ability to hear and begin to understand the language we’d never heard before we came. We’ve come a long way in 5 weeks. I know this time frame, 6 weeks in or so, is when the homesickness really starts to kick in and I’m sure I will have days I’m so ready to hop on a plane, but not today. Today I am thankful the Lord is helping us settle in, build relationships with friends and neighbors, enabling us to learn and stumble through a conversation in Indonesian and for now, making Indonesia home.
I'm so thankful that you've had a good day and are recording it here. You can look back at this on a future day that isn't so "breezy" and be encouraged that the Lord is the same through it all. We're praying!
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